Jesus take the wheel, take it from my hands,
cause i can't do this on my own.
im letting go, so give me one more chance,
save me from this road I'm on.
life's just screwed up lately, today was screwed up. i feel ; useless, unimportant, dumb, invisible.
i didn't know what to do, i tried giving you advises but you end up telling me not to. i couldn't help but thinking that hurting myself will get me out of this mess. it wasn't an option at first, i couldn't get hold of myself, till a friend of mine stopped me. i came to my senses, what's the purpose on hurting myself for something i didn't do, but still, the pain was inside me, the pain that i felt from seeing you getting all worked up and mad about something. i wanted to help, i tried to help. but i was shunt like any other being on earth.
this post isn't about me expressing my fucking emotions or whatsoever, no, don't get me wrong. i was pissed indeed, i ate and yet wanted to puke it all out again. my feelings were so mixed as if i was half way drowning in a whirlpool of sand instead of water, its heavy in my heart, i just wanted to tear up in the middle of the crowd.
as i stare blankly at my phone, awaiting a reply from you, my mind wondered into a thought of wretchedness and self-pity. for some reason, i don't know why. i didn't want attention, no, i didn't. i just wanted to be there for you when you were down. i am your boyfriend and yet, you tell me nothing, why? you make me feel deserted, stranded, alone.
i just felt pissed off about today,
"life's a bitch." Sue whispered in my ears, i nodded with sadness. i replied "girls a bitch, guys are jerks.", she answered back with a question that pondered my mind, "don't you think that trust in relationships and helping each others a killer instead? if it was because of bitches and jerks, nothing would go wrong, cause they'll not bother about whats happening to their loved ones and all they care about is sex"
so thus, today, all i did was stared blankly into space, thinking and thinking and thinking. people asked how is it going between me and you, i fake a smile and said were doing well. the feeling of telling a lie is just so burdening. i seriously do feel fucked up. mind me on my language but i can't help but not to curse..
girl, i just want to be there for you today, i felt lonely, miserable, useless, and any kind of suck-ish feeling when you couldn't be there to help someone when they have a problem. i almost cut myself, it's true. i just fell mad and sad at the same time. i don't like seeing you like how you acted yesterday. i love you, i want to be there for you like how you want to be there beside me when I'm down and out. i just hope you'll know that.
i love you, i miss you dearly..
cause i can't do this on my own.
im letting go, so give me one more chance,
save me from this road I'm on.
life's just screwed up lately, today was screwed up. i feel ; useless, unimportant, dumb, invisible.
i didn't know what to do, i tried giving you advises but you end up telling me not to. i couldn't help but thinking that hurting myself will get me out of this mess. it wasn't an option at first, i couldn't get hold of myself, till a friend of mine stopped me. i came to my senses, what's the purpose on hurting myself for something i didn't do, but still, the pain was inside me, the pain that i felt from seeing you getting all worked up and mad about something. i wanted to help, i tried to help. but i was shunt like any other being on earth.
this post isn't about me expressing my fucking emotions or whatsoever, no, don't get me wrong. i was pissed indeed, i ate and yet wanted to puke it all out again. my feelings were so mixed as if i was half way drowning in a whirlpool of sand instead of water, its heavy in my heart, i just wanted to tear up in the middle of the crowd.
as i stare blankly at my phone, awaiting a reply from you, my mind wondered into a thought of wretchedness and self-pity. for some reason, i don't know why. i didn't want attention, no, i didn't. i just wanted to be there for you when you were down. i am your boyfriend and yet, you tell me nothing, why? you make me feel deserted, stranded, alone.
i just felt pissed off about today,
"life's a bitch." Sue whispered in my ears, i nodded with sadness. i replied "girls a bitch, guys are jerks.", she answered back with a question that pondered my mind, "don't you think that trust in relationships and helping each others a killer instead? if it was because of bitches and jerks, nothing would go wrong, cause they'll not bother about whats happening to their loved ones and all they care about is sex"
so thus, today, all i did was stared blankly into space, thinking and thinking and thinking. people asked how is it going between me and you, i fake a smile and said were doing well. the feeling of telling a lie is just so burdening. i seriously do feel fucked up. mind me on my language but i can't help but not to curse..
girl, i just want to be there for you today, i felt lonely, miserable, useless, and any kind of suck-ish feeling when you couldn't be there to help someone when they have a problem. i almost cut myself, it's true. i just fell mad and sad at the same time. i don't like seeing you like how you acted yesterday. i love you, i want to be there for you like how you want to be there beside me when I'm down and out. i just hope you'll know that.
i love you, i miss you dearly..
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