Happy 6th Month Darling (:

it's been a long and tiring run, yet i persevere to continue on. keep on running till i reach my goal. every pit-stop is a place for me to charge up and continue going on, stronger at every checkpoint. now, I'm doubting that i can't make it, but as i came close to the very next check point, the sixth one to be exact, i saw you there, waving at me, smiling, calling me. i got back on my feet and kept hurdling towards you. i miss you, but i can only see you for a while. you'll be gone soon and i have to keep on running to get to you at the next checkpoint, now i'm stronger since you gave me the boost of courage and hope that we will make it in this race, you and me, and im gonna win in for the one ultimate prize. to be with you forever. (:



it's our sixth month dear. (: half a year. (: one hundred and eighty-three days to be exact..
it never made me regret that Tuesday night confessing my love to you. i was the most happiest guy this date six months back, and i am still happy the same way i was that day..

there's nothing more better than to talk to you after a tiring day, be with you after a long wait, hug you after a great date and kiss you, before its to late.. (:

all my life, I've never loved someone as much as i love you, never did i hold on to someone this long.. though we may not look things eye-to-eye sometimes, but we clear the air before dawn hits the the face of the earth. (: and i'm glad we do that.

i know, there's something bout the way you look in my eyes, you make everything just so damn easy, so easy that, i dont need to worry about a thing and when we touch, all i can see is the image of us, sitting by the ocean just before the dusk, sipping on a juice-box with sand between our toes, hand in hand together. (: it will come true one day, im sure of it..

its only physically but know that you'll be on my mind twenty-four hours at a time. no matter where you go, whether you're in JB or Penang or Cambodia or camp, i know you're not far, cause you're always on my mind. cause love has no distance or barriers to stop us from thinking about me and you, no, not for the two of us. (:

i seriously can't wait to see you this Sunday babe, i really do. it just blows my mind thinking that i'll be able to cuddle you again, hug you, hold you tight in my arms.. (: my tummy's tingling again just thinking of it.. heh.. :P
so, maybe we can swim and get lunch (: i know i'm broke but i think i can manage buying you lunch. (: i'll try look for cash.. heh.. *sorry*

i just wanna say thank you for being strong and always being by my side hun, i thank you for putting up with all the crap i have, i thank you for not judging me for a *** maniac. xD heh.
i love you x 59834750345437564897356 which sums up to.. er.. ASMUCHASTHESTARSINTHEUNIVERSEANDTHEHOLESANDCRACKSINEVERYPLANETANDALLIKNOWISITSFREAKINGALOTBABE! yea.. that much.. xD

so i guess this is the part where we really say we're in love, and the part that we're gonna say its forever.. :D maybe, we could also say, our first kiss the second edition. xD

i seriously love you alot.. im love drunk babe, and i never wanna get hungover by it. i want it to continue.. (: forever and ever..

ending with a text from you..
which reads..

*my heart skipped a beat. (: happy 6th month...i love you. FOREVER ANS EVER. XD*

FOREVER AND EVER it will be.. (:

early post. 6th.

My gah bee, 6 months already! :)
So fast. Time pass so fast! *__*
I donno what to blog about leh.
Seriously.
I mean, all the stuff that I love about you, I know I always text you all of them.
If repeat then boring d.
anyway.

( ) !!!!

there's a kiss in the bracket. :)
LOVES hehhehee.

so sunday, we go eat Mcd. (:
delivery?
If delivery, then who knows the food later cold and soggy. ):
eat there, I can't take out the vege. If not very messy.
da bao? Waste time. -_-
or~
we can go Pizza Hut. :)
or~
there's sushi king.
of cause, i'll take dad's money lah if ur broke (you are anyway)
so not to worry.
I just want to have a nice lunch with my *COUGH* darling. ;)
hehe!
OR~
we can swim.
yeah good idea.
don't want lah
you poke my belly later. *__*
Anyway, I love you bee.
Thanks for being by my side,
all the time.
I love you
much much.


Muacks.
banyak loves from,
bell.
your one and only awesome super cool, cute, pretty, beautiful, skinny, amazing, the one and only, bell. xD

Jesus Take The Wheel

Jesus take the wheel, take it from my hands,
cause i can't do this on my own.
im letting go, so give me one more chance,
save me from this road I'm on.

life's just screwed up lately, today was screwed up. i feel ; useless, unimportant, dumb, invisible.
i didn't know what to do, i tried giving you advises but you end up telling me not to. i couldn't help but thinking that hurting myself will get me out of this mess. it wasn't an option at first, i couldn't get hold of myself, till a friend of mine stopped me. i came to my senses, what's the purpose on hurting myself for something i didn't do, but still, the pain was inside me, the pain that i felt from seeing you getting all worked up and mad about something. i wanted to help, i tried to help. but i was shunt like any other being on earth.

this post isn't about me expressing my fucking emotions or whatsoever, no, don't get me wrong. i was pissed indeed, i ate and yet wanted to puke it all out again. my feelings were so mixed as if i was half way drowning in a whirlpool of sand instead of water, its heavy in my heart, i just wanted to tear up in the middle of the crowd.

as i stare blankly at my phone, awaiting a reply from you, my mind wondered into a thought of wretchedness and self-pity. for some reason, i don't know why. i didn't want attention, no, i didn't. i just wanted to be there for you when you were down. i am your boyfriend and yet, you tell me nothing, why? you make me feel deserted, stranded, alone.

i just felt pissed off about today,

"life's a bitch." Sue whispered in my ears, i nodded with sadness. i replied "girls a bitch, guys are jerks.", she answered back with a question that pondered my mind, "don't you think that trust in relationships and helping each others a killer instead? if it was because of bitches and jerks, nothing would go wrong, cause they'll not bother about whats happening to their loved ones and all they care about is sex"

so thus, today, all i did was stared blankly into space, thinking and thinking and thinking. people asked how is it going between me and you, i fake a smile and said were doing well. the feeling of telling a lie is just so burdening. i seriously do feel fucked up. mind me on my language but i can't help but not to curse..

girl, i just want to be there for you today, i felt lonely, miserable, useless, and any kind of suck-ish feeling when you couldn't be there to help someone when they have a problem. i almost cut myself, it's true. i just fell mad and sad at the same time. i don't like seeing you like how you acted yesterday. i love you, i want to be there for you like how you want to be there beside me when I'm down and out. i just hope you'll know that.


i love you, i miss you dearly..