Happy Valentines Dear ♥

It's February 14th and its valentines day. It fell on the same day as Chinese New Years..

The day began with mom waking me up from bed. Never knew she still thinks I'm her little boy at heart. She came into my room, opened up the shutters and slept beside me, asking me to wake up.
I was dead asleep and heck was so tired. Couldn't sleep the night before. Kept thinking of Bell.. God i miss her so much. I wonder why.

So then we had lunch an went for visitations. It wasn't that fun knowing that your Valentine is stuck at home doing nothing, and when your not out with your Valentines date on Valentines day. So off we went to my dads and moms friends house. Collecting red packets and chitter-chattering away. I didn't felt any fun, joy, happiness at all. Kept looking back at my phone thinking when will she text, why is she replying so slow? It came wondering in my mind and started contemplating nonsense again.

So when we were in my dads friends place, i knew some of the kids, so we went off to watch Ghost Whisperer. Moms favorite. Then there was one episode where Melinda Gordon's husband died. Even though she still can see him, she still felt empty. Even though she could talk to him, she felt so lonely.

That's the way I'm feeling now. It sucks, and i don't like it, but what i learned was, there's always a reason why you'll miss that someone. It shows that you love them. It shows that you really think of them and want them to be in your arms. Seeing them and not be able to touch them makes you wanna cuddle them, and feel their warmth around you. Talking to them but not having that deep conversation when your really looking them in the eye makes you say.. I LOVE YOU..

And so, i really do miss you babe, and i love you too. I wanna hold you tight and look you in the eye and say those three words. It feels so different when were just talking through computer screens or joking around when were the line.

I wish you were here, better still i wished i was there, just to make you happy on valentines day this year. Sometimes i feel like I'm not being a responsible boyfriend towards you and I'm sorry about that. Sometimes i think that im not good enough for you or your to good for me. But you showed me one thing, no matter how short i am, how dorky i may be, how blur i can get and how boring and lifeless i am sometimes. You still love me, and i thank you for that.. (:

and yeah, Valentines doesn't need to be about chocolates or roses, just a smile will do. It can be anything, as long as I'm with you.. In my heart, mind, and soul.. ♥

I LOVE YOU ISABELL. HAPPY VALENTINES DAY.